The second edition of the Danube Institute’s Family Formation and the Future conference took place in Budapest, Hungary on 31 March–1 April. Day 2 featured a very special guest: Former President Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović of Croatia, who gave the keynote address of the day.
She started by saying the issue of birth rate and child care is not only economic and political, but also deeply personal. It should not only be approached through the lens of statistics, but with honesty; and not only through politics, but with humanity as well. She then recalled that she had a programme on boosting birth rates in her home country of Croatia while she was in office, but alas, it was not adopted by the administration.
President Grabar-Kitarović moved on to personal matters, as she suggested in her opening remarks. She shared that her mother passed away from kidney cancer on Good Friday last year, which is why this time of year is very emotional for her. On that note, she stressed that family support must include elder care, and not just child care. ‘We cannot neglect our elderly in a family-centred society,’ she added.
The speaker then went on to criticize the societal messages we are sending our youth today: that total autonomy is paramount, and that children are a lifestyle choice. Neither of these statements is true, she stressed.
Children are born with temperament, she continued, but their character is formed over time. Reflecting on her own experiences as a mother, she recalled that she was offered the position of Minister of Foreign and European Affairs when her son was just six months old. She was reluctant to take the opportunity as a new mother, but was eventually convinced by her late mother to do so.
Ms Grabar-Kitarović told the audience that the real question in family policy is: Does society make family life easier or harder? If you want more children to be born in your country, the answer should be easier, she added.
To that end, she called for concrete measures to support mothers with young children, including making breastfeeding in public more accessible and fostering more family-friendly workplaces through greater time flexibility. She also urged the elimination of the stigma surrounding children born out of wedlock, stressing that ‘no child is illegitimate’—a shift she believes could contribute to reducing the number of abortions.
The Former President also called on fathers to not fear commitment, not flee from duty, take on their share of the burden of child care, as ‘it cannot rest on the shoulders of women alone’. She also stressed that ‘children are a blessing, not a burden’; and that ‘no society survives on autonomy alone,’ thus emphashizing the importance of forming relations and raising children.
President Grabar-Kitarović’s speech was followed by a panel discussion. Imre Bedő, Founder of the Men For All Organization and Man Woman Academy; Director of Research at the Center for Social Justice Edward Davies; freelance journalist Waka Ikeda; Chairman of the Ladislav Hanus Fellowship Programme Juraj Šúst; and Matías Ignacio Quer Lagno, Director of the Master’s Programme in Political Studies at the University of the Andes gathered on stage for the talk. It was moderated by Calum Nicholson of the Danube Institute.
Mr Davies started by saying that she agrees with the President that child care is not just about statistics, but more about personal stories, but he feels it is imperative that he shares some scary statistics about the United Kingdom. According to the speaker, a 25-year-old man is 25 times more likely to live with his mother than with his wife in the UK today; and only 2 per cent of men are married. By contrast, in the 1970s, the majority of men aged 25 were already married.
Ms Ikeda also brought up statistics about her home country. She stated that Japan currently has a birth rate of just 1.25, but in South Korea, it is even lower. What’s more alarming, she added, is that about 30 per cent of people in their 20s report that they never even had a romantic relationship. Based on those figures, Ms Ikeda described today’s East Asia as ‘a lonely society’. She also pointed to the perfectionist ideals prevalent in East Asian societies as part of the reason for the low birth rates in the region.
Mr Šúst talked about the high divorce rate in his home country of Slovakia, which he believes also contributes to fewer children being born; and urged married couples to focus on the ‘common good’ as opposed to solely on their own states of mind to have marriages last longer. Meanwhile, Mr Lagno stated that family formation is embedded in human nature. In his opinion, it is the ‘loss of identity’ of families that causes the low birth rates despite humans’ natural predisposition to creating offsprings.
Mr Bedő told the audience that ‘family is the only good, working institution’ in society; and that the issue is not with family, but rather with people’s bad habits. However, he added, urging people to change their bad habits is very unpopular, therefore no politician, celebrity, or corporation is willing to engage in such a public campaign, as they would lose votes, business, or fans. He also spoke out against the modern liberal inclusive ideas of family, which he believes are detrimental to birth rates and proper child care.
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